Don’t Mess With Texas

American Madness readers: meet William Johnson.
William, it is my pleasure to introduce you to American Madness.
I apologize up front for the awkward introduction, but this is the only way we could arrange for this meeting. William is currently incarcerated in Brazoria County, Texas on a burglary charge.
Turns out, he asked one of the local trailer [...]

Scared

I just came across an article I missed from the middle of September. Newsweek reported on a website called MarryOurDaughter.com. The site appears to be under construction right about now, but here is what it had offered (according to Newsweek): “a matching service for followers of ‘the Biblical tradition’ of arranged marriages.” It allowed people [...]

I have not the words

That my friends is a pickle. Specifically a Kool-Aid Pickle.
I am not fucking with you.
The NY Times had an article yesterday called “A Sweet So Sour- Kool-Aid Dills” about a growing trend amongst students in the South who are eating some intriguingly horrible combinations of food:
Warm Cheetos & Ice Cream
Blow Pops & Pickles
Lemons & Peppermint [...]