American Madness

Intelligent Criticism in the Service of a Better Nation

Hedge fund song of the season

Let it Grow
(as sung by a 2009 HF marketer)
Oh the weather outside is shitty.
And my bed it looks so pretty.
But since I was not let go
I’ll make dough, I’ll make dough, I’ll make dough
There ain’t any funds to gather
But still I’ve got to blather
My cranky boss CIO
Wants to grow, wants to grow, wants to grow
When [...]

There Will Be Bud

This is one of the finest parodies I have ever seen (via Matt).

For all the hedge fund investors
who can’t get their money back

Inspired by a FoF I just spoke to who said she was listening to I Will Survive. Nothing against quants in the third stanza, but it fit the meter. Probably more literally accurate as “I will contrive” but connive just sounds better. For non hedge fund geeks, the biggest problem at the moment for investors [...]

Goldengrove unleaving

Paulson are you aching
Over Laissez-Faire’s unmaking?
Risk, like useless VAR, you
Can’t your job prepare for, can you?
Ah! as the task grows bolder
It will gray your baldness older
By and by, nor spare your eye
Though worlds of shattered markets lie;
And yet you will weep and know why.
Now no matter, Hank, the game:
Market’s failings are the same.
Nor trade, no [...]

You got to know when to Fuld ‘em

Another one for this year’s Follies show, now that “Fuld’s Still Standing” no longer works.
You got to know when to Fuld ‘em
On a warm Sunday night, as we neared the election
Bernanke met with Paulson. They were both too screwed to sleep.
So they took turns a starin’ back in history’s direction
The horror overtook them, and Ben [...]

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