American Madness

Intelligent Criticism in the Service of a Better Nation




Election Statistic CNN Did Not Have Time For

Posted by Matt Cipriano | 3 Comments

With the election being called at 11:00pm last night, CNN and virtually every other station had to cut their typical election night coverage short. For those of you who watched CNN, you may have noticed from time to time they went to their touch screen to pull up various details from their polling of who was most likely voting for who (like 84% of South Carolina Evangelical Christians voted for McCain… Shocking, I know). Unfortunately with the election ending so early last night there were a number of statistics that CNN had data on but did not have time to get to report them to us. Fortunatley I got my hands on some of CNNs polling data and it shows some interesting, if not unexpected trends:

84% of left handed males from Rhode Island with three or more vowels in their first name voted for Obama

72% of 18 – 24 year olds with red hair from Kentucky voted for Obama

67% of Native Alaskan women over the age of 78 voted for McCain

82% of New Mexican men who buy supermarket brand cereal voted for McCain

91% of Pennsylvannian men whose last names are between 6 and 13 letters long and had GPAs below 2.81 during college voted for Obama

82% of terrorists native to Oklaholma voted for McCain (personally I found this to be very surprising)

76% of bearded men in Wisconsin who resemble Wolf Blitzer voted for McCain

yet, only 22% of bearded women in Wisconsin who resemble Wolf Blitzer voted for Obama

and finally, 99.3% of Americans who voted for Obama are pleased with the election results today.

Comments

3 Responses to “Election Statistic CNN Did Not Have Time For”

  1. Matt Friedlander
    November 5th, 2008 @

    “91% of Pennsylvannian men whose last names are between 6 and 13 letters long and had GPAs below 2.81 during college voted for Obama”

    That describes half my campus at KU, lol.

  2. Scott McCue
    November 5th, 2008 @

    Hilarious.

  3. Amy
    November 5th, 2008 @

    It’s a great day in our nation. I put out my flag with great joy this morning.

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