Reasons to vote McCain
Posted by Josh Friedlander | 7 Comments
Meddling abroad
The fact that we haven’t been attacked since 9/11 is not proof that our Iraq/Afghanistan strategy is working, but it’s hard to see how the wars haven’t helped, by keeping the fight overseas. We’ve made significant headway now, and it would be a bad move to go home. Going home: acknowledges defeat, which has a pernicious affect on the national ethos; tells the terrorists that we’re too weak or afraid of casualties to stick it out in a fight, which will embolden them; forces us to write off our significant investment in the region; eliminates the gains we’d made in establishing bases in the region; reduces or eliminates our ability to exploit Iraq’s enormous oil reserves. McCain will continue the fight, showing our resolve. (Josh note: Al Queda supports the McCain Presidency. Having us over there meddling in several of their nations helps with their recruitment.)
Cheap stuff
McCain believes in keeping trade open among nations. This plays to his corporate sponsors, but is also a very good idea. That cheap Chinese labor thing keeps inflation from spiraling out of control in the U.S. Restricting trade just invites retaliation in kind. (Josh: of course, allowing corporate swine to ship jobs overseas and then bring those goods back here to sell to citizens who weren’t fit to be employed by the same companies does seem kind of ratty. Maybe sensible trade is better than “free” trade, especially when “free” trade is so expensive in the end.)
Being told how to live
Teenage pregnancy is a bad idea and we need to force teenagers to masturbate more and avoid acting on their sexual urges. To do that, we’re going to eliminate legal abortion, which will make them scared shitless to “just see how it feels if we just try it a little.” Combined with shotgun marriages, America can return to its redneck roots. Sometimes it’s even necessary to marry your rapist or at least have his child. Yes, this is a very sensible Republican policy. (Josh: procreation is apparently a very bad thing that only becomes good when the church tells you so. The shame is that more secular-minded people are less neurotic about sex, practice safe sex, and therefore have fewer children, so it’s the stupid anti-sex-for-pleasure crowd who reproduce more frequently).
The national money thing
The economy is strong because American workers are strong. (Josh: the body is healthy because, despite being a corpse, nails and hair continue to grow.)
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7 Responses to “Reasons to vote McCain”
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November 3rd, 2008 @
LOL
November 3rd, 2008 @
Paragraph #4 is the problem that Sarah the Breeder has with her progeny, you know, underage pregnancy and shotgun weddings. Do you suppose that the wedding will still take place if her election goes South?
November 3rd, 2008 @
Hence my snarkiness.
Yeah…it will go on. She has hopes for 2012.
November 3rd, 2008 @
Brett, the pension guy in my office thinks that if Obama is elected the entire country will be ruined. Saturday, for only the second time in my life, I had to leave services before the end because I was being accosted by two of my friends, who feel that Obama will destroy Israel if he is elected. There are so many lies going around that it makes my head spin.
November 3rd, 2008 @
He will destroy Israel. Joe the Plumber said so. And when asked why he believes that Joe the Plumber told me he can’t give me his reasons. I’m supposed to go and find his reasons on my own.
November 3rd, 2008 @
Goebbels lives on in the tactics of the Republicans. Today it was that Obama wasn’t born in the United States and before that he hobnobbed with 60’s radicals. They haven’t a leg to stand on with regard to the economic collapse or their actions on the World Stage so they make up any story they can. The Big Lie never leaves, it just switches countries.
November 4th, 2008 @
But McCain told me that Obama doesn’t know the difference between tactics and strategy.
I’m so confused.
The McCain-Palin tactics have been like watching a really bad auto wreck on the German Autobahn. One piece of commentary I read said the reason for its failure was its lack of coherence. They tried to affix so many different labels to Obama that it got muddled and people didn’t know what to think. It’s been fun to watch the implosion.
And I think I agree with James Fallows that McCain’s SNL appearance was a bit of a defeat acknowledgment;
http://jamesfallows.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/11/proof_that_john_mccain_has_rea.php
Incidentally and unrelated: I realized on Friday that I, having visited and travelled through 22 foreign countries and having lived in two different foreign countries during the last 2 1/2 years, have more foreign policy experience than Sarah Palin.
And before you throw executive experience in my face I was president of my college film society for nearly 2 years and the bar supervisor in a successful restaurant for nearly 2 years.