And now for the quote of the day from John McCain’s favorite president.

“The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life.”
Theodore Roosevelt

Go Teddy!

At this summit, which would be attended by all the European powers and all of the Middle Eastern countries, as well as of each of the various terrorist organizations, every partly would be placed in a group of seven countries containing three natural friends, three probable enemies, and one neutral nation. The groups would them meet separately for two weeks, following which, each group would be required to present the entire summit with a proposal for the resolution of the sectarian and religious hostilities that have existed forever. I would propose that all of the parties be required to stay at the summit for as long as it took to discuss and possibly come up with solutions to the problem. I would point out to them that if we don’t come up with some answers we may just blow ourselves off the face of the earth very soon.

At this summit I would ask that a committee be developed for security cooperation. The committee could set up a program, perhaps like the following:

At each port in Europe there would be an army of people in charge of examining cargo as it was being loaded (or this could be done by the shippers, but that would increase costs exponentially) and then seal it and certify that it did not contain any WMD’s. If that was done at every airport and port there wouldn’t be any real danger of WMD’s entering the countries at the conference. It would be better than what we have now, because frankly, Grant, there is no one guarding our ports at the moment. Expensive, yes, but so is WMD destruction. Remember this, if something got through, no country would ever be amenable to trading with any country that let the device get into the stream of commerce. Thus there is a great incentive for the trading nations to be very careful.

Next, we are all big boys and girls now so don’t jump out of your seats at my next proposal for security. Each citizen of each country gets a national identity card containing all the medical and political data on that individual. If the card doesn’t match the person at a national check point, the person doesn’t enter the United States or any other country. All major public buildings and countless other unmarked buildings across the various countries contain devices that pick up the signals created by these cards and the bearer is identified. If a person doesn’t have a card the system gives off a signal and the person gets stopped and questioned. The use of such a card will identify every single person in the participating countries and will keep people from countries that don’t agree with this out of all the other countries. This would put an end to illegal visitors from anywhere. If you are somewhere illegally and they find you its goodby Charlie, or Charlene. This will end this constant preoccupation with illegal foreigners all over the world.

As to the War on Terror, that is not really a war at all because we cannot identify the combatants. We will now refer to it as an international criminal matter and every country must contribute their best criminal detection efforts to the group. Any country that won’t contribute doesn’t get to travel to or trade with any country that joins the group.

Taxes are going to go up substantially in America to pay for the various bailouts and takeovers that have transpired in the past few days. Both Democrats and Republicans are responsible for this and there is no point talking about who is too blame. We all subscribed to a failed economic philosophy here and we will all have to pay. However, the beneficiaries of that philosophy have been the very wealthy so they will have to pay for the correction of the problems that made them so very rich. The bottom line will be the base income of $250,000 per person with adjustments made for the cost basis to live in the various parts of the United States. Since more than half of us aren’t married there will be a change in the joint filing possibilities. One year after my administration begins all married couples with no children will get no benefit from joint filing, however if you are married raising children in a unitary household your taxes will be cut by 1/3. That should encourage people to marry and to have children. All restrictions based upon race, sexual orientation, or religion will be erased, as will any adoption restrictions.

On religion, abortion and same-sex marriage:

Grant, if you don’t like this point of view I’d like to hear your ideas. Religion is very personal and anyone can believe as they like, however America is a civil society and our laws must allow for behaviors that the Bible, the Koran, the New Testament, the Hindu Scriptures, the Book of Mormon, and other Scriptures don’t approve. Therefore any person who loves another person who is not improperly related to them by blood, can marry any other person. There is probably nothing more devastating then being in love with someone and not being able to marry them. Yes, I am changing my position on civil same sex marriage. If your religious group doesn’t allow such marriages, well then same sex marriages will not take place in that religion.

Oh, yes, the financing of education. Whenever a family decides to educate their child in a religious school they take that child out of the public schools and while they continue to pay school taxes, they must also pay for that education. Well, if a family is saving the state money by educating their child privately, that part of the education that is secular, and only that part, should be paid for by the state. The rate of compensation will be the amount that would have been expended if the child had gone to school publically. Lets hear about this from others. They do this in the UK and they are doing just fine over there; no religious burnings, and religions haven’t taken over the country. Lets try it.

In exchange for your vote, which both of them want very much if you are PA, they’ll arrange for their respective veeps to give you a blow job.

Sorry, best I could.

Here’s the bad news. No matter which one you pick, both are going to screw you.