An Open Letter to McCain and Obama
Posted by Grant Catton | 5 Comments
Dear John and Barack,
I have one simple question for each of you (answer seperately, please): What exactly are you going to do for ME?
I’m 28 years-old, I’m white, I come from a comfortable middle-class background, and like a lot of people my age, I’m trying to find a career and chart my own course in life. For the past year I’ve heard a lot of mumbo-jumbo said by and about both of you guys, but for the most part it just sounds like vague jabs, over-analysis, and hyper-nuanced statements that don’t actually mean anything. Because, let’s face it, once you get into office, all bets are off.
So, why exactly should I vote for either of you guys? What are you going to do for me?
Homeland Security & The War on Terror?
I currently live in a small town in rural Pennsylvania. Al-Qaeda is not exactly knocking on my front door. I used to live in New York City, so yes, I “get it.” But I’ve got news for you, if somebody wants to put anthrax on the subway or bomb a bus terminal, it’s GOING to happen, whether or not you put John Wayne or Richard Simmons in the White House. I fail to see how any grandstanding on either of your parts is going to keep this country safe, whatever that means in the first place. Other than starting another war, committing more troops, or otherwise causing MORE violence (which is basically what all of this chest-beating about the War on Terror is about) I don’t really see what either of you is going to do to “keep us safe.”
Why not tell me, specifically, how you plan to work with other nations, diplomatically and technologically, to build up a world-wide coalition against terrorism, which is far more of a problem in other countries than here. Tell me how you’re going to strengthen our borders, make security more efficient and effective, and make sure terrorists are not operating within the U.S., rather than how you’re going to bomb another country if someone messes with us. While you’re at it, tell me how you’re going to do all this while still safegaurding my personal privacy. That’s something I want to hear.
Taxes?
They say you, John, want to keep taxes low, and they say you, Barack, want to raise taxes, especially on the rich. Okay…well it seems to me that regardless who’s the president, taxes only ever go in one direction. Furthermore, as somebody who doesn’t make a lot of money, and whose total net worth probably couldn’t even buy a steak sandwich at Denny’s, this issue doesn’t really move me either. No matter who wins this fall, I’m going to have to pay my taxes. Part of that is going into Social Security, which isn’t even going to exist by the time I need it. The other part of it is going to finance some government programs, and infrastructure, and other things of which I’m not acutely aware. I don’t make a lot of money right now, I don’t expect to have a lot of it to spare, so TAX AWAY!!! But here’s my point–how about GIVING me something in return for it!! Like, for instance, healthcare? Or access to a subsidized education? Give me something I can USE!
As for the whole notion of “big government,” I think that ship sailed a long, long time ago. The days of the “hands-off” government are long, long gone. They probably stopped sometime at the beginning of last century. If big government means having a national health service, or having government sponsored university education, give me big government, cause it’s not going to get smaller either way.
The Economy?
Just tell it to me straight: neither of you knows how to fix what’s going on now. Fine. Nobody does. This is what we call a colossal F*CK UP. It has to be borne out. No $600 dollar checks or promises of lower taxes are going to fix this. How about suggesting some ways in which we might PREVENT the next colossal F*CK UP? There needs to be a free market in this country, that’s the only way technological and industrial progress can continue. But can you figure out some way to get a handle on things so these Bubble’s stop f*cking up the economy? This is the second one in a decade. We barely got up off our feet after the Tech Bubble and we walked right into the Housing Bubble. Tell me how we can watch out for the Green Bubble, or whatever the next one is…but don’t pretend you can magically fix (or even explain) what’s been going on for the past year.
As it affects me? I was basically broke before, I’m basically broke now. The economy had little to do with it, except that now gas is more expensive. But, I recognized I was broke and didn’t overextend myself, thus, when the economy turned south, my exposure was minimal. Nobody who was financially secure and financially prudent before the Housing Bubble has now found themselves destitute. If they are, they’re few. The ones who got the shaft were the ones who had overextended themselves (for whatever reason or necessity), and just got squeezed to the limit. I don’t suggest calling people “whiners,” but how about, after we get through this, we start introducing the notion of “financial responsibility” again, and stop being a nation of Credit Junkies? How are either of you going to help with that?
Religion, Abortion, Same-Sex Marriage?
Can you both please keep these issues out of the race altogether? These are moral issues, not political issues, and I don’t see why we keep wasting valuable time on them. Religion, first off, was one thing the Founding Fathers specifically wanted to keep out of the political and governmental realm. Yes, they put “God” on our currency, and back then most people and politicians believed in some form of religion, but the whole point of this country was to separate church and state. These things are only issues because they matter to your voters. Shouldn’t that be reason enough to have a stance? Well, maybe…and maybe not. People care about a lot of stuff they probably shouldn’t…like American Idol. But you don’t have a position on that, do you? Abortion is never going to be outlawed, nor is same-sex marriage, nor is anyone ever going to tell me what religion to practice. So stop focusing on these things, at all.
So…back to my original question: What are you going to do for ME? Furthermore, is there really anything you CAN do for me? Election Day is November 4. On November 5, I’m still going to have the same problems as I did the day before, and frankly, neither of you can really help me with any of them.
That’s not to say I won’t vote for one of you and, honestly, I’ve pretty much made up my mind. So you can argue, and point the finger and quibble about who said what, and how they said it, and how they looked when they said it, and what you’re going to do, and what your opponent is going to do, and what your opponent is not going to do that he says he’s going to do, and what your opponent is going to do that he says he’s not going to do… But you’ve already won or lost my vote. And not because I think my life is going to be dramatically different either way, but because I like–or dislike less–the direction where I think you might take the country, and where that might lead, and so on, and so on, and where the country might be 20 or 30 years from now.
I take it back. Don’t even attempt to answer this question, because you can’t. All you can do is shepherd my country, my people, through the next four years and not do something outrageously stupid like lead us into another war or destroy our economy. You can’t even deliver, honestly, on most of the things you promise. It’s just not possible. So, I’m not asking for you to do something incredibly smart, just DON’T do something incredibly stupid.
Is that too much to ask?
Grant
Comments
5 Responses to “An Open Letter to McCain and Obama”
Leave a Reply
Trust us
As with Anna Karina, we prefer to remember the U.S.A as she was in the 1960s.
Seek and ye shall find
Archives
Matt Friedlander’s Tumblr Feed
Josh Friedlander’s Twitter Feed
- JoshFriedlander: In AR Monday: Our titillating cover story on SAC Capital and our newest asset survey of the largest U.S. hedge funds. www.arhedge.com
- JoshFriedlander: Friend of friend selling Les Paul, Fender Strat & Chiquita guitars. http://bit.ly/dirYU2 | http://bit.ly/a9PRz8 | http://bit.ly/aD8j9z
- JoshFriedlander: Otto Enoteca Pizzeria on #Yelp: This is the first time I will have to part ways with Lisa Q, who had never steered m... http://bit.ly/cNpYgd
- JoshFriedlander: RT @ARhedge: AR (FREE): Davos remains largely a hedge-free zone. Eton Park, Taconic, Apollo, Hermitage, Highbridge, Moore, QVT... http:/ ...
- JoshFriedlander: RT @ARhedge: AR Exclusive (sub req'd): Appaloosa's David Tepper grossed $7.5 billion last year betting on banks. http://cot.ag/978vQN #h ...
September 20th, 2008 @
Just got off the phone with Barry and Johnny. Here’s what they’ll do for you.
In exchange for your vote, which both of them want very much if you are PA, they’ll arrange for their respective veeps to give you a blow job.
Sorry, best I could.
Here’s the bad news. No matter which one you pick, both are going to screw you.
September 20th, 2008 @
(What I’d like to hear Obama say)
Well, Grant, whatever we do is going to impact on your personal privacy, so you can’t be too prickly about it. I will ask for several summits of the major players in the drama of international terrorism. I would ask that the summit be held in Paris for several reasons. The first is that the French aren’t really on anyone’s side in matters involving their neighbors so they’ll come as close to being objective as any other country in the world. Second, they have fought with or against every other country in the World at one time or another and have no hidden grievances towards anyone. Third, and most important, many of the terrorist leaders have lived in Paris at one time or another and like the place. Fourth, they have the facilities to host such a conference and everyone else in the World, with a few exceptions, likes Paris.
At this summit, which would be attended by all the European powers and all of the Middle Eastern countries, as well as of each of the various terrorist organizations, every partly would be placed in a group of seven countries containing three natural friends, three probable enemies, and one neutral nation. The groups would them meet separately for two weeks, following which, each group would be required to present the entire summit with a proposal for the resolution of the sectarian and religious hostilities that have existed forever. I would propose that all of the parties be required to stay at the summit for as long as it took to discuss and possibly come up with solutions to the problem. I would point out to them that if we don’t come up with some answers we may just blow ourselves off the face of the earth very soon.
At this summit I would ask that a committee be developed for security cooperation. The committee could set up a program, perhaps like the following:
At each port in Europe there would be an army of people in charge of examining cargo as it was being loaded (or this could be done by the shippers, but that would increase costs exponentially) and then seal it and certify that it did not contain any WMD’s. If that was done at every airport and port there wouldn’t be any real danger of WMD’s entering the countries at the conference. It would be better than what we have now, because frankly, Grant, there is no one guarding our ports at the moment. Expensive, yes, but so is WMD destruction. Remember this, if something got through, no country would ever be amenable to trading with any country that let the device get into the stream of commerce. Thus there is a great incentive for the trading nations to be very careful.
Next, we are all big boys and girls now so don’t jump out of your seats at my next proposal for security. Each citizen of each country gets a national identity card containing all the medical and political data on that individual. If the card doesn’t match the person at a national check point, the person doesn’t enter the United States or any other country. All major public buildings and countless other unmarked buildings across the various countries contain devices that pick up the signals created by these cards and the bearer is identified. If a person doesn’t have a card the system gives off a signal and the person gets stopped and questioned. The use of such a card will identify every single person in the participating countries and will keep people from countries that don’t agree with this out of all the other countries. This would put an end to illegal visitors from anywhere. If you are somewhere illegally and they find you its goodby Charlie, or Charlene. This will end this constant preoccupation with illegal foreigners all over the world.
As to the War on Terror, that is not really a war at all because we cannot identify the combatants. We will now refer to it as an international criminal matter and every country must contribute their best criminal detection efforts to the group. Any country that won’t contribute doesn’t get to travel to or trade with any country that joins the group.
Taxes are going to go up substantially in America to pay for the various bailouts and takeovers that have transpired in the past few days. Both Democrats and Republicans are responsible for this and there is no point talking about who is too blame. We all subscribed to a failed economic philosophy here and we will all have to pay. However, the beneficiaries of that philosophy have been the very wealthy so they will have to pay for the correction of the problems that made them so very rich. The bottom line will be the base income of $250,000 per person with adjustments made for the cost basis to live in the various parts of the United States. Since more than half of us aren’t married there will be a change in the joint filing possibilities. One year after my administration begins all married couples with no children will get no benefit from joint filing, however if you are married raising children in a unitary household your taxes will be cut by 1/3. That should encourage people to marry and to have children. All restrictions based upon race, sexual orientation, or religion will be erased, as will any adoption restrictions.
On religion, abortion and same-sex marriage:
Grant, if you don’t like this point of view I’d like to hear your ideas. Religion is very personal and anyone can believe as they like, however America is a civil society and our laws must allow for behaviors that the Bible, the Koran, the New Testament, the Hindu Scriptures, the Book of Mormon, and other Scriptures don’t approve. Therefore any person who loves another person who is not improperly related to them by blood, can marry any other person. There is probably nothing more devastating then being in love with someone and not being able to marry them. Yes, I am changing my position on civil same sex marriage. If your religious group doesn’t allow such marriages, well then same sex marriages will not take place in that religion.
Oh, yes, the financing of education. Whenever a family decides to educate their child in a religious school they take that child out of the public schools and while they continue to pay school taxes, they must also pay for that education. Well, if a family is saving the state money by educating their child privately, that part of the education that is secular, and only that part, should be paid for by the state. The rate of compensation will be the amount that would have been expended if the child had gone to school publically. Lets hear about this from others. They do this in the UK and they are doing just fine over there; no religious burnings, and religions haven’t taken over the country. Lets try it.
September 20th, 2008 @
Just an addition to the above. Taxes would be raised on people who make more than $250,000, more would be allowed if they were filing jointly and had children.
September 22nd, 2008 @
Someone please read all this and get me the Cliff’s Notes. Also, let me know if it’s intended as parody. I can’t tell.
September 22nd, 2008 @
It’s the parable of the schizophrenic American.
And now for the quote of the day from John McCain’s favorite president.
“The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Go Teddy!