American Madness

Intelligent Criticism in the Service of a Better Nation




Confidential Request to Bring About Change

Posted by Paul Woodland | 7 Comments

Hmm… The following just showed up in my inbox this morning.

Subject: CONFIDENTIAL REQUEST TO BRING ABOUT CHANGE

Greetings to you and your Family, Hope you all are Fine and Healthy. May the Peace of God Almighty be with you all.

Please I want to use this opportunity to introduce myself well to you, I am BARACK OBAMA JUNIOR, The SON OF the former late BARACK OBAMA of KENYA. I am a BARRISTER, registered in the prefect of IL-L-NOIS. I found your e-mail through a reliable contact here in the government for which I am employed and in honorable standing.

You will no doubt be surprised to hear from me, having never been contacted in such a manner before. But I approach you with the utmost respect and honor for a business proposal for which both parties stand to benefit. Recently, I was in contact with TONY REZKO, a national of your most HONORABLE country, who has now mysteriously ceased all communication with my offices. Despite numerous attempts to re-establish a dialogue with MR. REZKO, I fear the worst may have befallen this most HONORABLE individual.

MR. REZKO was seeking my cooperation in funding a new campaign based on HOPE. The HOPE campaign has promised great CHANGE in yours and the many other great nations of this world that GOD has blessed. MR. REZKO had agreed to provide the necessary assets to bring CHANGE in the amount of $85.0 MILLION U.S. DOLLARS.

I seek your assistance, as you are a trustworthy and HONORABLE person with whom many great business transactions have already been forged. In exchange for your help and CONFIDENTIALITY in this matter, I will guarantee a percentage of the proceeds are directed to a consignment box of your choosing in UNITED STATES TREASURY. I would of course provide all the money necessary for HOPE but such a financial transaction would draw a line to me and the funds, which could be damaging to my reputation and my endeavors to bring CHANGE to the government.

I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS LEGAL AND 100% RISK FREE AS ALL MODALITIES HAVE BEEN PERFECTED REGARDING THIS TRANSECTION.

What matters most is HONEST and CONFIDENTIALITY of this transaction on your side. If this proposal does pique your interests, please do not hesitate to email me on my private email barack@barackobama.com as a matter of urgency with your contact phone numbers so that I can call you for more details for your understanding. Further communications will be conducted via TEXT MESSAGE as this method provides the most efficient means for the matter of business which this transaction entails.

Best Regard
Barack Obama

BARRISTER

Comments

7 Responses to “Confidential Request to Bring About Change”

  1. Jason
    September 15th, 2008 @

    We’ve all gotten spam. Is there any particular reason you decided to post this one?

  2. Matt Cipriano
    September 15th, 2008 @

    Hey Jason- You may want to give it a quick read

  3. Keith
    September 15th, 2008 @

    Because Barack Obama has a name not of Anglo-Saxon origin, and pigmentation a shade darker than every other president of this country, then a post like this is meant to be humor? How is this not racism to the highest degree? What if I posted an e-mail I got from plantation owner McCain, how well would that go over?

  4. Josh Friedlander
    September 15th, 2008 @

    Keith…*I* didn’t post this thing! No need to pee on me with the fake email string! That hurts, man.

  5. Matt Cipriano
    September 15th, 2008 @

    I think an e-mail from plantation owner McCain. Would be hilarious. Maybe if American Madness started that we could have our own little viral going. Josh, why don’t you get cracking on that?

  6. Eric Hazard
    September 15th, 2008 @

    Paul, are you out of your mind? What are you doing! We are going to get killed for this.

  7. Jason
    September 16th, 2008 @

    Matt, my point was that posting the spam without any comment seems a bit strange.

    Paul can’t just take it on faith that everyone reading this blog is going to understand why he posted it. Does he agree with it or disagree with it? Does he think it’s damaging? What does he think?

    And apart from that, people get spammed with all kinds of crap. Hurtful crap. Racist crap (by the way, I fail to see any racism in this spam). Spam comes from all levels of the political spectrum. And the most dishonest vitriol comes from both extremes of the political spectrum. Remember that Michael Moore is the Rush Limbaugh of the left.

    Why give credence to bullshit in your inbox?

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