Mo’ Vino, Mo’ Problems

An AmericanMadness Quiz:

What famous rapper is starting his own wine company?

a) Snoop Doggy Dog
b) Fat Joe
c) Lil’ Jon
d) All the above, together in an East Coast-West Coast rap/wine lovefest

I know, it’s a difficult decision. All the above exhibit excellent taste in wine. Anyone of them would make a fine vintner.

The answer is c - Lil’ Jon.  
According to SFGate.com, Lil’ Jon is the linguistic stylist looking to demonstrate his vast skills and talents in the wine world. Apparently, he’s been brewing his own hooch for a while and someone told him it wasn’t half bad. Taking that as some sort of endorsement, he’s decided to launch his own wine label, to distribute his vino to a select group of oenophiles.

I read this story with a skeptical eye. I’m sure Lil’ Jon likes wine, and I’m sure he likes to make wine. But that doesn’t a good vintner make. It is in the following quote where I don’t exactly think Lil’ Jon’s heart is into the craft:

This is not no ghetto Boone’s Farm; this is some real wine.”

So, if I’ve got this straight, Lil’ Jon’s objective is to make a wine that is not as bad as Boone’s Farm. Talk about setting the bar low.

As if the story itself is not outrageous enough, the comments to the SFGate.com posting add an additional patina of absurdity. A few of the gems I’d like to point to:

“It was a bucolic spring day as we drove up the Silverado Trail in Napa. We followed the caravan of Dodge Magnums, their 22″ spinners reminding us of the fine-ass sparkling wine we had the year before. Eventually we came up on the thumpin hip hop beat; we were here. Lil John’s winery, tasting room and houseparty. The first wine we tried was a house bottled Chardonnay (vintage yesterday). After commenting that it tasted flat, we were advised to sip it with our grillz on. Amazing! filtered through the thin veneer of gold, the chard displayed immense depth and nuance.”

“Another crappy wine 15 yr olds can get sick on.”

“According to critics, the wine features nuances of exhaust fumes, tobacco and bling along with a very short finish…”

You’ll definitely want to click through. It is high entertainment.