Columnists:     Matt Cipriano   |   Joel Friedlander   |   Josh Friedlander   |   Lisa Qiu   |   Jason Ihle   |   Scott McCue   |   Lord Halifax

Arris Lofts, what a joke!

Hey, I have a great idea for you. Let’s convert an old warehouse/industrial building in the middle of nowhere, yes Long Island City is still nowhere, into a luxury loft complex and sell the one bedrooms for a million a pop. Let’s have a very expensive TV, Print, and email marketing campaign. Then, when 5 people show up from Manhattan for the “open house,” we will tell them in a very snotty way that viewings of the lofts are by appointment only. I mean how could you go wrong?

Arris Lofts
by ntriced

I went to see Arris Lofts with my wife and friends last weekend. We thought that we’d drop by Arris Lofts, because they have been spamming us for the past year about their sensational, stupendous, wonderful million dollar lofts. We were curious to see the place, because we couldn’t believe that they could sell 1 bedrooms for a million plus in L.I.C..

They were going to have to do some amazing marketing to convince any one of us to live in a neighborhood with spotty public transportation (the 7 line rarely runs on weekends), few stores (I don’t even think there is a grocery store), and a view that will soon be blocked by the high-rises going up along the water. As for the surrounding neighborhood, it’s charming and artistic, but not exactly Park Avenue…

long island city cornerlic lofts
long island city riverlong island city power plant

As it turns out they didn’t even try to convince us to buy. We were turned away by two snotty receptionists even though they were having an open house. I was amazed that prospective customers interested in purchasing property would be treated so poorly. In fact, we even offered to wait for a sales person, but we were once again told that we had to make an appointment. All that marketing put into getting us into their sales office and then they blow it.

It’s a very common theme in marketing that you don’t want to repeat. They lost a sale, wasted our time, and totally pissed us off. Now we know about Arris Lofts and we going to tell all our friends about it. The message will be something like, “Don’t even bother. It’s a waste of time and their staff will treat you like crap. I’d also stay away from properties being marketed and sold by The Sunshine Group, since they are the ones behind that fiasco.”

RESTAURANT REVIEW:
Awesome Pies from Down Under

My friend and I spent the night wandering around Red Hook (water taxi to the pier, art show by the docks, bought a bottle of bourbon up the way, dinner at Brasserie 360) and finally landed at DUB Pies.

We didn’t actually have any of the pies, but I can attest the excellence of everything else. The chocolate-coconut desert was just awesome, and the coffee is made with obsessive-compulsive perfection by a Kiwi coffee nut who also kept us company and told us her very cool story (the shop’s very existence is serendipitous).

More amazing even than the in-store service, as we were walking to the subway, the owner rode up on his bicycle (from many blocks away) to bring us the aforementioned bourbon (which we had carelessly left at the restaurant). That’s (literally) going the extra mile! Will definitely be back for coffee, desert and (next time) for pie!

193 Columbia St.,
Brooklyn, NY 11231
(btw. Sackett & Degraw)
(646) 202 9412

They deliver! And they’ll ship pies anywhere!
http://www.dubpies.com
Dub Pies in Brooklyn

© 2009 American Madness is powered by WordPress and Market Anomaly