Is your home overpriced? You could be a victim of an impending bubble collapse.
A recent report from Bubble Butt Consulting said ?sixty-five of the nation’s 299 biggest real estate markets are severely overpriced and may be subject to market corrections.?
No kidding. Some of these markets are absolutely crazy. For example, a refrigerator box in San Francisco goes for $235,000, double if you want an ocean view. When I was a kid, we used to play in refrigerator boxes, which were just lying on the street for the garbage boys to pick up.
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Investors continue to buy Gold as hedge against inflation, and because Gold as an asset tends not to correlate with equity markets or other commodity prices.
But Gold is being promoted as a safe place to park assets in the event of a true catastrophe, which is only partially true.
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Richard Causey copped a plea.
The Enron accountant pleaded guilty to two counts of securities fraud and conspiracy and one count of being fat. He must now help convict former bosses Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling, who were the Smartest Guys in the Room, not the heftiest.
Causey had cause to rat on his former superiors. One, he didn?t want to become a love muppet for other sleazy white collar criminals; instead, prosecutors promised to send him to Folsom Prison in time for the next Johnny Cash concert. Two, Lay and Skilling tormented Causey unmercifully about his weight. Now revenge is sweet, as were the 12 cupcakes Causey downed between each meal.
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It was a rough day on Wall Street, as stocks tumbled down the staircase and out the front door, scaring the shit out of the cat.
First out was AT&T, which broke a tooth and lost its ampersand. The Dow Jones Industrial Average lost 38 points. New York City Detective Sergeant William Miller said the city would try to find the points but no one should hold their breath.
Trading was mixed, then stirred. Concerns about consumer spending took their toll, as Stock Market officials tried to sell Waffle Irons to passing Greek tourists. They were rebuffed and told they were much cheaper at Target.
Analysts blamed point guard Taysheeka Jones. Jones, a member of Mimes for Jesus, continues to shoot the ball even when she doesn?t have it. This confuses Cisco (CIS) and United Doughnuts (UD), who stand around all day until their mothers call them home for dinner.
End of the year portfolio reshuffling took a toll, said Monte ?Three Card? Grinker, chief investment officer at Drunken Sailor Asset Management.
“In general, there’s concern about consumer spending, but hey, get a load of these waffle things. I mean, they make great waffles!? Grinker also blamed the yield curve, whatever that is.
Among the decliners were No Balance Footwear (down $2.29 to $64.69) and Banana Peels R Us (down $2.23 to -$232.34). Company officials were tight lipped after saying Friday that sales and earnings in the fourth quarter were really crappy, due to what the company said was consumer concern over bad waffle irons and yield curves and crap like that.
Any progress I might arguably have made as an individual since leaving college has now been barbarically destroyed by the last three days spent working from home during the subway strike have caused me to revert to a troglodytic state of grunting simian anarchy. (My writing has also devolved, as evidenced by the preceeding run-on sentence. Mrs. Smith, I am sorry. I WAS paying attention in 7th Grade English)
It’s not simply that I’m eating all my meals from delivery or at the diner down the street. Television has taken over my mind in the evenings. I can’t bring myself to re-read any more of my books, so I’ve been watching transit strike coverage and other drivel.
As a result of watching more television these past three nights than I have seen in six months, I have also been forced maybe 20 times to watch a shortened version of the Baz Luhrmann ad for Chanel 5, featuring Nicole Kidman (Australian, and with the accent to prove it) and and Rodrigo Santoro (he’s Brazilian, and women find him Braziliant).
I can’t say I’m unhappy to see this type of commercial back, with its dreamlike quality and some degree of subtelty in pushing its product. I just hope this means we’re not in store for a slew of retro-80’s ads, like the infamous Obsession commercials. Though with all the reality in advertising now, it’s not so bad having to watch some unreality.
The staff of American Madness would like to thank the 