Pornography is Big Business. And Size Does Matter.

Posted by Kevin Reifler | 3 Comments

According to stats found through Google (and remember, the Internet never lies), “Porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises. US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC (6.2 billion)”

However, for an industry with worldwide revenue of almost $60 billion, porn is less than sanguine about its future prospects, sensing numerous dark clouds on its horizon.

Indeed, the challenges are immense, starting with unionization. The United Food and Commercial Workers Union (UFCW), known mostly for unionizing attempts at Wal-Mart and other large retail chains, has targeted porn workers for it’s next big membership push.

“If you work with food, be it honey, be it cucumbers, or be it two carefully place carrots, the UFCW wants you as a member,” said Union boss Hiram Perznik. “We do not discriminate against the type of food worker you are, nor how much money you make per vignette, nor whether or not anyone actually eats the food.”

In addition, the skyrocketing costs of Viagra have the Men of Porn in open revolt.

“We need cost-of-living-increases (COLAs),” says Male Porn SuperStar Johnny Knob. “Have you seen the cost of Viagra these days? Dude, it’s real expensive, and that alternative herbal crap doesn’t work, OK!”

Knob is rallying his fellow male porn workers, or as they are called in industry parlance, “props”, to develop collective shopping networks to buy Viagra in bulk.

“When Costco begins to sell Porn-Sized Viagra Packs, we’ll be the first ones on line. But until then, we need the pharmaceutical companies to extend us Professional Courtesy. And now that Rafael Palmeiro has been busted for steroids, they’re going to need new spokesmen. It could be tit for tat, in a matter of speaking.”

To counteract these and other issues, the Porn Industry Group (PIG) has launched a massive public relations initiative to win the hearts and minds of the general public.

Called “Porn Cares”, the group has offered to assist the victims of Hurricane Katrina in any way they can.

“Sure, we can give money, that’s the easy part,” said PIG spokesperson Busty Babe. “The hard part, is to help those victims who, due to loss or separation of spouse, aren’t getting any. Not that we will assist in that manner, but we will donate 5,000 ‘Porn Superstars In Action’ DVDs to needy victims. It’s the least we can do.”

Ms. Babe believes that the porn industry is awakening to its civic duty. Many Porn Superstars are ready to pitch in any way they can.

“Many of us dress up as nurses, stewardesses and the like, so maybe we can volunteer to do these things for real. You never know.”

Posted on November 21, 2005 in Business, Humor, Public Relations

Comments

3 Responses to “Pornography is Big Business. And Size Does Matter.”

DavidL
January 20th, 2008 @

You can dress it up any way you want but a PIG is still a pig! There is big money in porn and so we may assume that it is here to stay and that it will go mainstream before to long. Meanwhile, our children suffer because the obscenity laws governing hard-core pornography go largly unchallenged. Pornography addiction is growing and, as is the case as any addiction escalate to its bitter end, there will be a huge downside to society overall in broken lives and families. Obscenity breeds even more obscenity–especially when big money supports it. If we allow society to promote not only pornography–but obscenity as well (as it the case over the internet and easily available DVDs) we should not be surprised when our society becomes an even more obscene and brutal place to live.
Matt Cipriano
January 21st, 2008 @

First off, I think an argument can be made that Porn has already gone mainstream. Don’t get me wrong, it is never going to be playing in the AMC movie theater down the block or anything, but it is definitely not as closeted as it used to be (a porn star has run for governor of CA and we know that Jenna Jameson supports Hillary…).

Next- Can someone actually give me an example of a case where obscenity or porn has caused a child to suffer?

Why does sex scare people? It is people like DavidL who made such a big deal out of Janet Jackson’s nipple during the Super Bowl a number of years ago. I know this country was founded on puritanical beliefs, but I thought we had moved beyond that.

I’ll leave the outraged commentary on suppressing freedom of speech/expression for another day.
DavidL
January 25th, 2008 @

Matt asks if he can given an example of where obscenity or porn has caused a child to suffer. I’m happy to do so…It’s called Child Porn Matt! And it is rampant on the internet. Videos and dvd’s of full on sex acts–not simulated and actual penetration are widely available and have been considered as unprotected speech “obscene” by most courts of the land.

Matt also marks me as someone who gets upset over the Janet Jackson “nipple slip.” Actually Matt, nothing could be futher from the truth. I don’t think the world came to an end there and I have better things to do than worry over something trival–like that.

Just so you’ll know, I teach freedom of speech issues and consider myself almost a first amendment absolutist. So, I would ask you to save your judgments for another day as well as any rants you’d like to make about freedome of speech! Whether you like it or not, society and supreme court precident–the supreme law of the land–has declaired obscenity as unconsitutional. Pornography is not unconstititutional and nothing in my posts is asking for the law to crack down upon it. But I do think society is going to suffer by allowing obscenity to go unchallenged and enter the market place.

One last thing Matt, if you were me and knew the human fallout that comes from men whose families are torn asunder because of the lack of trust that enters the relationship when spouses discover their partner’s useage of pornography and obscenity you wouldn’t ask a naive question about the harm to children. In my community, a father is being sent to prison for 30 years for his involvement with pornography–think his children will suffer Matt?

Leave a Reply

Archives