American Madness

Intelligent Criticism in the Service of a Better Nation

The Attention Span of an Ant

I put a paper wall in front of an ant. It turns right. I put up the paper wall again. The ant turns right again. I put up the paper wall and the ant takes a left. We all have it in us, this reflex response to a stimulus. We all have the insect/reptilian part [...]

Body Farm

Good news! Now you can help advance the cause of medical science, even after you’re dead!:
A biological anthropology professor at the University of Northern Iowa, Tyler O’Brien, envisions turning some prime pasture in the Midwestern state into a body farm, where human bodies — buried, stuffed in car trunks or exposed to the elements [...]

Eating Lemons

Ever eat a lemon?
Picture a series of lemon-eating, funky-lip faces, a wonderful Andy Warhol montage. I would pay $400 Zlotys to see it at New York’s Whitney Museum. I would pay $280 Zlotys to see it at the San Antonio Museum for the Arts. In Burkina Faso you might have [...]

Intercepted Email Department

To: Heads of Sales & Marketing
Re: Keeping your jobs and our pricing strategy
All:
It has come to senior management’s attention that we’re spending tens of thousands of dollars a year trying to figure out how to price our items. People, I don’t care if that’s what they teach you at Harvard, Yale, or Wharton. At [...]

At The Motor Vehicle Division

Today I visited the Motor Vehicle Division to renew my driver’s license. I thought the photo came out a little better than most:

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