Information Overload
Allow me a moment to bash the greedy higher-ups at the Wall Street Journal.
Folks: I have enough to read already. Like your employees, I write about the financial markets. Although my publication is a monthly newsmagazine, I still must daily read your newspaper, the New York Times, the FT (sometimes), Fortune and Forbes, and all manner of breaking news on the Internet. I must read at least a book a week of pure news and news analysis. Some of it is pleasurable, but none of it is read for pleasure.
Indeed, the only day of the week that was truly free for me was Saturday (as the NYTimes Sunday edition is pretty much required reading, as well).
Recently, you decided to foist a Saturday edition of the WSJ upon me.
My life will never be the same.
It is not enough that I read you dutifully every morning. That I put up with doggerel like today’s Sarbanes Oxley section, which–despite the consistently fine reporting of Deborah Solomon–concerns itself with topics the rest of us have written about ad nausea long ago.
Now, so that you may derive further ad revenue related to your endless coverage of vacation retreats, private airplanes and other rich treats, I have lost even the holy Sabbath as a day of rest.
Certainly, I can fold the saturday edition and tuck it away for Sunday, but why should I have to?
When I first heard you were doing a Saturday edition, I remained calm. “They will only write about the foppish and the wealthy, and the foppishly wealthy,” said I.
But NOOOO…you write about important business trends on Saturday. What gives you the right? Knoweth ye not the power of the Lord, he who doth not like his day of rest disturbeth by uppity reporters? Eh?
May he strike down your Friday closing prices, your fascinating article on how private flights often correlate with executive golf outings, your cool article about that DVD hacker kid. All that. Bah humbug, says I. As Twain observed, it’s only fun if you DON’T have to do it. Play is the absence of the have-to. The obverse is WORK.
I’m all for a weekend edition, as long as it’s irrelevant. I will read it closely. I will take notes. I promise to BUY something from one of your official sponsors. Just, please, dear God and Karen Eliot House, get the need-to-know information out of there!
17. October 2005 at :
You have to keep up with the times, Josh. WSJ is planning a blog, vlog, slog, podcast, pigcast, pigroast and a short little man who will run up to you and recite Sarbanes-Oxley limericks. Plus Saturday morning WSJ cartoons (Furby the Hedge Fund Advisor) and a series for Cartoon Network (The Powder Puff Girls Meet Wilbur Ross). Can’t wait!
18. October 2005 at :
One of the WSJ “leprechauns” caught me on the street near wall street the other day. I just thought he was insane.
“There once was a CEO named Lay
Who lied and traded in-side for play
But finally we caught you
then Sarbanes and Oxley put laws through
now you better state your financials the right way.”
18. October 2005 at :
That reminds me of a song I wrote for this year’s financial follies that they ended up not using. The meter is uneven, but it’s a direct copy of the Monty Python meter, so blame them, not me!
The Republican Song
(Based on “The Galaxy Song” from The Meaning Of Life.)
Whenever you think life’s a bore, Mr. Gore
And Washington seems rough
And our rulers seem heartless, or vicious, or dumb
And you feel that you’ve had quite enough…
Just remember that we’re living with a daft administration
That’s intent on blowing up the Middle East
Our credit’s being blown like we’ve got zero APR
And if our deficit’s not red, it’s surely pink
Now the king and all his men, and all his corporation friends
Are looting with all their hands and mouths and feet
A wartime theft so large and brash and bold we haven’t seen
Since the Nazi’s started pulling victim’s teeth
The president himself claims to be Reagan’s fiscal twin
But he never met a bill he couldn’t sign
His veto lays there dying on the oval office desk
While a bloated budget pays for every crime
We’ve spent $300 billion if you round our highway bill
Alaskans get a bridge connecting frost
And our men die every hour for lack of armor we could fund
But don’t worry, we’re just paying freedom’s cost
The government itself keeps on expanding and expanding
It smiles at all the pork that it’s bestowed
As fast as it can spend, we thank the Chinese government
For buying all our T-Bills, which is why we don’t implode
So remember when you envy Pres’dent Bush and all his power
How unlikely is his ultimate success
And pray in years to come that someone reigns our spending in
So we’ll finally fix all this mess
18. October 2005 at :
Come to think of it, we should record a podcast of this. I’ve others.